Fallout in Bikini Bottom: Why?

i'm gonna go off tangent here for a bit, to explain why this has happened.

over the christmas break, santa claus brought my children two of the "Skylanders" games. if you don't know, it's an action game where kids place specific skylanders toys on the portal in from of them, and then that character is playable in the game. a really neat idea.

well, it's got the kids all excited, and even though i bought them one of every type of skylander needed for the game, we've all become captivated with specific ones we don't have yet. so we've ventured to the stores to grab a few more here and there.

well, each time we go to the stores, my youngest daughter pulls me aside to look at this spongebob video game called "Plahkton's Robotic Revenge".

"It's for Wii U, honey.", I say, because it is and we have a playstation and frankly i've never seen it for PS3.

so we leave. over the course of two or three days of hunting, at several different stores, she keeps finding this damn game.

we end up at a local gamestop, and again the game is placed in my face.

i tell her,"Look, honey, this is for a game system that we don't have. come with me." i take her over to the PS3 section, a big wall of new and used games. "this is the type of games we can play. do you see it here?" i say this last part in a little bit of a snarky see-if-you-can-find-it-here-i-dare-you kind of voice. the chances of finding it are slim to nil, since i've never heard of it until now.

and my daughter manages to find it. sitting like a book on a shelf, one copy, for ps3. i take it from her hands. stare at the cover and the back, then the price "$30 bucks..fine." i say, defeated.

"really!?" she says excitedly. i nod, and we checkout with this game.

now this game is all she really plays. it's her genuinely owned game. it's not bad, really easy, perfect for her. we play it every day, often starting and finishing the game in the same session.

the premise is that plankton has found batteries from a cargo ship that dropped them, and he's built robot suits and a robot army.ok, nothing amazing there, until you see the robot body of plankton, as well as the final boss fight of the game.

here's a pic. sorry it's not a great shot, since few of these really exist.

there are two things that i took away from seeing this for the first time. one, plankton's robot body, which by the way the plankton robot appears numerous times before this final battle, strongly resembles that of an Eye-bot from FALLOUT 3. Two, on the right hand side of the level is a Krusty Krab restaurant (home of the Krabby Patty :) ) that has been blown up and left as a derelict. it reminds me of several of the diners that you come across in FALLOUT 3.

ok, two freak occurrences in the same level jumpstart my mind and off i go on one of my brainstorms. last night i started drawing images of spongebob characters as fallout characters. a lot i had thought of right away, and some are still coming to me now.

Spongebob as the Vault 101 Wanderer: i had been trying to figure out what Spongebob was in this fallout universe, and i had tried so hard that i missed the obvious choice. i think he looks pretty good in a vault-tec jumpsuit. plus the more i think about it, his pineapple home has a vault door on it anyway. so let's run with that.

Gary the Snail as Dogmeat: yeah, this one came to me last, just before i stopped drawing. an obvious choice for the wanderer's sidekick.

Squidward Tentacles as a Ghoul: Oh i love the blatant misery of this! Squid has been miserable since the first episode, mostly because of spongebob, and it would only be fitting that his torment continue as a Ghoul. oh, by the way, i put a little hair on his head just to add the the torment, since extreme amounts of radiation are really the only thing that would grow hair on the bulbous dome.

Patrick Star as a Caravan Trader: quite frankly, i really just wanted to see patrick in that ridiculous motorcycle helmet, but i think the part of caravan trader might be pretty good for him. kinda like crazy wolfgang, he'll be quirky. i hope he finds a way to make his rock house mobile.

Sandy Cheeks as a Brotherhood of Steel Paladin: an easy choice, since she always has on that suit, plus she has some scientific know-how so the fact that she would be BoS is real easy. it makes the tree dome a perfect Citadel, once it goes into armored mode. i'm glad the drawing came out as well as it did.

Mr Krabs as Drukov: ok, get your mind out of the gutters, we're still keeping this PG-13. if anyone could live it up after an apocalypse, it's eugene krabs. his anchor becomes his pleasure palace, with all the money instead of girls. since his restaurant lies in ruins, all he's really need is his money and his daughter, Pearl, who could act as an armored guard instead of..well..you know.

Plankton as President Eden: the main antagonist of our story shouldn't be a surprise. his eye-bots are sent across bikini bottom, made in his image, spreading the words of president sheldon. his enclave followers are also plankton in traditional enclave armor, but the heads remain as plankton bots. (i'll draw this later, maybe) Karen is Plankton's vid-screen, and the real plankton is in a tube nearby in suspended animation, waiting for the right time to reawaken and take his place as ruler of under the sea.

more to come later, stay tuned.

Fallout Journal #11: Enclave and Outcasts

i decided to push a little further in the main story and go after the GECK . i headed to Little Lamplight and entered vault 87. i went in strategically, sweeping room to room with the largest guns that i have. i'm getting real sick and tired of dealing with mutant overlords. it took me a few frag mines and mini nukes to get through to where i needed to be.

 I found Fawkes, a large intelligent mutant, and decided to outfit him with my minigun and all the ammo for it. we carve a path of destruction (after several deaths and freezes) and he gets me the GECK since it lies in a highly irradiated chamber. unfortunately, he doesn't want to join up with me. (HEY, i'm EVIL! AND GIVE ME BACK MY MINIGUN!)

i don't even attempt to kill him. just a good choice at that point.

i walk out into a main room, get knocked out by the Enclave, and get sent to Raven Rock

after some torture, i think, i get released and i am granted some one on one time with President Eden. i shamble through the facility, taking shots at everything that moves, because they're gunning for me too. i make sure to pick up that last bobblehead (PLING! Trophy!) and i get some fame-to-monitor time with the president.

now i was really, REALLY, tempted to join up with the Enclave, but i needed a few more speech challenges won, so i told him that he's a bit mis-wired and needs some down time. he agrees, and decides to take the whole Enclave down with him. i take off, fight my way out of the facility, and head outside, where Fawkes is gunning down people with a gatling laser.

hmm...should i, or shouldn't i?

nah...more to do.

i head off to find the outcasts base, and head into the large facility there to take on Operation: Anchorage. i don't think they really like me, since i'm evil and wearing the Enclave Armor, but they are willing to work with me. plus the place is unusually clean and reminds me of Oz and the Yellow Brick Road. 

i'm hoping to pick up some sweet armor and some good weapons too in this part of the game. time to see if i'm up to the task.

until next time...please standby.

Fallout Journal #10: Death by Pencil

after returning home from Point Lookout, i collected a few things, and began my annual "Blood Sugar" run. in other words, i went to the Seneca Station to drop off some Sugar Bombs, and then into the Meresti Station to drop off about 70 Blood Packs. i didn't realize that i had that many to begin with. that's a lot of freed up encumbrance weight.

after, dropping off the blood packs, i had a need for some pulse weapons. grenade or mine, it did not matter. i was intending on finishing up a couple of side missions, specifically Stealing Independence, which i knew i would need for the robots that inhabited the lower section of the national archive. since i was still in Meresti, i decided to hit their local store.

now i was on their good list, but i made an error...a big one.

i got a little twitchy on the button, and prematurely hit the x button on my controller before selecting the proprietor of the store. i inadvertently stole something, right in front of the store owner...a pencil.

instantly everyone turned against me, and opened fire. i holstered my weapon, then frantically searched through my inventory, trying to find that stupid pencil. i managed to find it and threw it on the floor. still, they continued to fire on me.

i made a run for the door, but stopped once i got into the first tunnel. i hate to say this, but i need these people. they are an unfortunate necessity, but their caps are good. leaving this area would provoke a auto-save, which would pretty much ruin everything at this point. so, i accepted my fate, and allowed the would-be vampires to  have their pound of flesh.

revived and reloaded, i went back, gave them their blood, properly checked their wares, and headed out into the wastes. i picked up Dog Meat to take on the adventure with me, but i wanted make sure that he was not going to die on this mission, so i made sure i had enough stimpacks with me.

i came across sydney in the National Archives, who was also looking for the same items. i knew this dance before, so we joined forces, and i was kind of rooting for her to survive the ordeal. Does she ever? we made it deep into the first area until we opened a door and there were about four or five super mutants. one even had a missile launcher, Dogmeat and myself were able to fend off the attackers, but sydney died...again...

i traveled into the bot inhabited depths of the archives, took out the sentry bots, hacked a few terminals, picked a few locks. i found Button the Robot, and told him a good work and he's earned a well deserved rest. i shut everything down, then take off with the real bill of rights and the Declaration of independence.

my nest stop took me to the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. i knew there were slavers here, my kind of people, and i talked to them about some escaped slaved somewhere in the wasteland. now, i knew where this temple of the union is located, so i fast traveled to the place, found my way inside, talked to the leader of the slave pack, gave my solemn vow to never speak of this location. then, i turned around, fast traveled to the Memorial, and became a turncoat faster than Benedict Arnold.

the slavers invited me to join them on their little raiding party. HELL YES! after sending Dogmeat back home, i eagerly followed the leader through the tunnels, past Rivet City, then traveled near the Enclave Barrier on the Thomas Jefferson Memorial. big mistake.

the troupe decided that the best way to get through the area, was to take a swim. a swim in irradiated waters. we swam there for about five minutes before the AI finally figured out the way out of the water. as a sidebar, i highly recommend finishing this quest before the Enclave show up to mess stuff up.

we moved further down the coast, then ducked behind some ruins and a hotel where mutants like to hang out. we made it partway up a ramp towards the bridge...until a Super Mutant Overlord showed up, hanging out on an overhead walkway, taking potshots at the crew with a Tri-Beam Laser Rifle.

i quickly yanked out my Missile Launcher, the only real weapon that can do significant damage to such a creature at this range. i fire off about ten missiles, drop the green meanie, then try to catch up with my hunting party, who have obviously continued on without me and survived the attack, right?

there are no blips on my radar, no friendlies in the vicinity. i look to the ground, and see the dead body of the leader and a few of his crew strewn about.

Dammit! there's another quest i can't finish now! why is is that people tend to die whenever they're around me? i need to find more robust friends!

agitated and tired, i returned back to my Megaton home and settled in for some fitful sleep, hopefully i can plot my next plan of attack.

Fallout Journal #9: Tribals, Hallucinations, Rituals, and Brain Trauma

I recompose my self, grab a few repairs and supplies, and head towards the supposed haunted Calvert Mansion. Upon entering, i'm forced into aiding Desmond, a Ghoul who strangely resembles Robert Goulet with the abrasive attitude of an F-bomb Dropping sailor. His home is being assaulted by another group of people called the Tribals, and for some reason, they have it out for the ghoul and his home.

together, well mostly me, we sweep the mansion room by room and floor by floor. after taking out the dirty bastards. i make an uneasy pact with the ghoul to go infiltrate the tribals and find out why they attacked. Desmond tells me that the place that the tribal call home is the Ark and Dove Cathedral north of the mansion.

i head off, and since i have discovered every location, i feel free to use my fast travel at will. i get to the gate, only to be told that i have to go do a ritual. i have to meet the Mother of Punga Fruit plant in a sacred bog. already i have deja vu. this smells of Oasis all over again.

again, i fast travel to the sacred bog, fight off swamplurks and mirelukrs,and make my way to big ass Punga plant. i get sprayed by the dreaded spores of the plant and black out.

the next five minutes involves me wandering around the swamp in a hallucinatory state, where nuka-cola become small atom blasts, and bobbleheads decide to taunt me. great, just what i need. inanimate objects pissing me off. i stumble to the end of the hallucination, black out again, and find myself outside the bog being attacked by a bloatfly swarm. i hate this.

after wiping off the gratuitous amount of bloatfly guts off my armor, i fast travel back to the church. i get in, talk to the tribals, and try to find out what the hell is going on and who is calling the shots. the tribals are friendly, but they appear to be not all there in the head. long story short, i have to go find a cave and talk to the leader. before exiting, i come across Nadine, the girl i'm suposed to be looking for in the first place, the reason i went to point lookout. she lets me know that i'm also a bit light in the head as well, and that new scar on my head tells me that the ritual is complete. someone has taken a bit of brain from everyone in the tribe during the ritual, and she intends to find out who it is.

wait a minute! back up, bitch! I've been lobotomized?

she runs off to find out the perpetrator, but tells me to meet her on the boardwalk for more information later.

pissed off, i head to the location of the cave, enter the place, and find the leader talking to someone i can't see, but it sounds like it coming over a PA system. i head up, make nice with the leader, and he tells me that he only communes with the real leader, who is up there on the ledge. i walk up, and come across the real leader of the Tribals.

a holographic image of a brain.

what the F -bomb!? i shake my lobotomized head. makes sense about the lobotomies now, right?

nope. this snarky brain lets me know that he's been in a rivalry with Desmond, and wants to see him removed, so that he can continue his work. ok, kind of hard to do without a body, but sure, i'll go tell Des whats going on.

i return to Desmond's place, and he fills me in on what's going on. this brain is the real owner of this mansion, and the two have been battling over scientific discoveries. great, so now i'm stuck in a scientific version of "The Prestige". Ok, what do i need to do?

i take this jammer Des gives me, then head to the highest point in point lookout to install it; the ferris wheel. now, i'm given a choice on who i want to work for, and i could destroy the jammer and make Calvert the brain very happy, but screw that...i hate "the brain in a jar" trick.

i install it, pop on a stealth boy, a slink away from the tribal hunting party that is trying to stop me. i get back in time to the Mansion, to see it blown to smithereens before my eyes. luckily, Des has a special hiding spot. he also finds out where the brainy bastard is hiding out, just under the lighthouse in a secret lab.

we head...stupid brain...to the secret lab and begin the cleansing process. i find out that the two of them have been working on the whole robobrain project. ok, makes sense i guess. we get to the final area, where brain in the jar is located, and i'm given one more chance to change sides.

screw you brain..time for a headache...see what i did there? a bit of ironic humor before...blam!

the brain gets a taste of life on the outside of the jar, and it doesn't likey... see what i did there again? brains have no sense of taste, no tongue...see it's funny--oh nevermind.

anyway, i bid a great big F.U. to Desmond, hope i never see his guts again, and leave. i head to one more place on the map, a place called Blackhall Manor. i meet an old man named Obediah Blackhall, and he wants for me to get back an old book from some backwoods folks. he'll pay 1000 caps for it.

sure, i love money. i head out and run into someone who wants me to give the book to her if i find it because the book, called "something that vaguely sound occultist and starts with a K" (i really don't care at this point) is evil. sure, magic in Fallout. not a chance missy.

i head to these ruins, pop on another stealth boy, grab the book, slip past the reinforcement, and give the book back to the old man and get my caps. just out of curiosity, i head back to where the old man has gome with the book...and find him playing in front of an alter with a dead body on it.

whatever, i'm out of here. love playing the evil, don't care character if you can't tell.


i come back to the Duchess Gambit to find Nadine with a smile on her face. she has found out who did all the brain cutting. apparently it's the owner of this boat. she's manage to subdue him and find out that he had a deal with the tribals that he's do the cutting as long as he got "a cut" of the punga fruit so he could trade it later at other ports. he has a collection of grey matter in his little engine room.

infuriated, i walk it to the engine room where this ferry bastard is, have a little q and a, and then blammo to the face. i look around and see a jar that i seem to find a bit familiar.

sigh...

i take my lump of brain and head home. if i see point lookout again, it will be all to soon.

Fallout Journal #8: Point! Lookout!

i dove off the Dunchess Gambit, the shoddy riverboat conveyance, and onto the wooden boardwalk of Point Lookout. i took in this new environment, and began snooping around.

now, from what i understand, this DLC is supposed to be the swamp-zombie scenario. yes, there is swamp, and yes there are kinds of zombies, but again, this is only what i know so far.

i headed west as far as i could, down the coast, and began my ultimate search for every location in the area, and tried to get a feel for the lay of the land. so far, i've come across the variations of Swamplurks, Ghouls, MireLurks, and the local enemies, a cross between a backwoods hill-folk and an infected mutant. they go by names like bruiser, scrapper, and creeper.

now, a word on my equipment. i had packed a little lighter, but carrying some of my weapons with tremendous stopping power. combat shotgun, laser and plasma rifles, minigun, missile launcher, and the infiltrator.

so things are going well, except for one problem. though the weapons i have are pretty effective against my enemies, there are scarce replacements for repair. furthermore, the shotguns and rifles that the locals use are horribly flawed, losing 30-40 hit points of personal health every time the weapon is fired. i refuse to use such weapons,

i found location after location, traveling back and forth across the map like a drunken minesweeper. eventually i find everything. the stickiest situation that i've had to deal with thus far was a sewer grate that led into a morgue, and from that morgue, a detention center with 6 sentry bots and turrets. that took a while to clear, but i manged to come out of the battle with less than significant damage.

i befriended a female moonshiner and helped her make her special brew, which i refuse to drink.
i also tracked down the trail of a foreign communist spy and followed his footsteps through various locations. i managed to peak level 30, and with a well placed save, i was able to unlock the Messiah, True Mortal, and Devil Trophies. PLING!!!

now, on to the mansion and the meat and bones of the DLC.

Fallout Journal #7: The Bigger They Are...(The Inflamed Uvula Entry)

After my last entry i began setting sights on the five Behemoths that roam the game, but i have also gained a sore throat of epic proportions. it's difficult to talk at times, and whatever it is, it's draining me of energy. it's gradually getting better, but still pissing me off a bit, so i've spent a few nights up by myself because of the difficulties of sleep. perfect time to go hunting,

i had already taken out the first one when i traveled to Galaxy News Radio. the second was locked up in my pen (that's right, MY pen) at Evergreen Mills, so i let it loose only to murder it. I'm a murderer, i've come to grips with my strengths in this game, so i barely batted an eye when regulators showed up to attack me shortly after leaving the mill.

so that left only three remaining Behemoths. i decided to do some spelunking in the sewers and subways and see if i could come across a few areas deep in the DC ruins that i hadn't visited yet. i was pleasantly surprised when i came across the old Capitol Hill building, and after getting deep into the $#!+ with some Mutant Overlords and Brutes, i found the third Behemoth in the main rotunda. three down, two to go.

so i look into my big wasteland book and try to find the locations of the last two behemoths. one is at a mutant camp that i hadn't discovered yet, and the other in a plaza still undiscovered.

i headed into the general area where the mutant camp was located. i found the camp, but no mutants anywhere. i came to discover that i would have to do a small miscellaneous quest in which i have to track down the remains of a search party. which means that i would have to find the point of origin, a place called L'Efant Plaza. Great...more tunnel snaking.

after trekking through the blue line subway, i managed to find L'Efant Plaza. kind of an ugly place, and i really didn't feel like searching the area too much, so i bee-lined straight to the area, a small burial mound that housed a note detailing info about the party's next location.

i headed to the next location, a ranger compound, and had to hack a computer terminal so i could get some more information. after a few tries, i headed to more familiar areas. the raider compound just south of Dukov's place held the next note, then a continuation across the river to the sewer facility to another note, which finally was to direct me back to the mutant camp.

sweet! i speed travel to the camp, find the one remaining member of the party, and get attacked by him. a shot to the face with my plasma rifle changed his tune...to Taps. i check over the body, then run into the mutant camp to find...nothing.

where's the behemoth? he's supposed to be here. We've got a date with guns!

resigned to the fate that the game is glitched and that maybe he'll show up later, i head to the fifth site, a place called Tacoma Park. i find the white line, jump in where i can be the closest to the location, then find raiders and mutants a plenty. after a smorgasbord of slaughter, i come across the fourth( or fifth?) Behemoth. i lay waste to both he and his crew, and i hear that fantastic drumroll of LEVEL UP echo. i quickly mash my start button and save prior to going to the stat increase page. now i have a great save point, just before hitting level 29, so that i can hit the trophies for hitting 30 with good, neutral, and evil karma.

after continuing my way of evil, i have decided to go back to evergreen mills, and walk the distance to the mutant camp. perhaps now that the game has remembered what a behemoth is and looks like, perhaps it will be nice enough to drop the last one in the camp where it belongs.

so i head out of the mill, after dispatching another batch of raiders, and walk out down the railroad tracks to the camp. i see nothing. my heart sinks. crap, this means i'll have to use a lower lever save to try again at another--BOOM!

what was that?

mow, if i haven't stated it before, my game has developed glitches. a few times i will be running around the wild and i come across a deathclaw, and suddenly it gets whisked up into the sky and disappears. well thankfully, sometimes the glitch works the other way.

a Behemoth, the last Behemoth, drops in for a visit.

i unload everything i've got into the final giant mutant, a smile on my face knowing that it's death is imminent. within a few minutes, the great beast drops and i hear the all too familiar PLING of my PS3 letting me know about earning the "The Bigger They Are..." Trophy.

YAY!

i return to Megaton, throw a few things in the fridge, slug back a few Nuka-colas, sleep, re-fit my self, then i head out for the Duchess Gambit, and the adventures that await me in Point Lookout.

Fallout Journal #6: Death Walks Among Us part 2

after branch saving a few times, i finally climbed onto the rail-car that would take me to The Pitt.

now this is the first time i've played any DLC on Fallout 3, so all of this is now territory for me. there will be spoilers in here as well, so be warned.

the first thing i did was meet up with Werner, a slave who wants me to free his people and save then from some plague. not really my thing right now, but i can handle it, and hopefully score a level or two of XP. so i dress up like a slave, and head in. however, i was carrying everything in my inventory; great guns, great armor, and bunches of goodies. after making my way across the booby trapped and heavily mined bridge, i get to the gates, and i'm stripped of my cache of weapons, armor and goodies. I WILL GET THOSE BACK! A-HOLE!

i head into The Pitt, which is not as big as i originally thought. There's Downtown, Uptown, The Mill, The Scrapyard, and little else. my system starts to lag a bit as it begins to process all the moving pars and sparks from the mill. GRRR.

i meet up with this woman, Madea, or something like that. and she says that i need to get the cure out of the head slaver's stronghold. the only way i do that is get into the fights and fight three matches. OK, how do i do that without guns?

i go do some dirty work out in the scrapyard, collecting steel ingots (bars) for the slaves. for every ten i get, i get something cool. so after meticulous saves, (and a later replay through the area) i manage to get 100 ingots and enough armor and good weapons to fight in the arena.

i get into the arena .Veni Vidi Vici. that means i get to see the head guy. yay!

unfortunately, my stuff is nowhere to be found when i get to the stronghold. SERIOUSLY? so i hop to my wasteland guide and see that all my stuff is in a footlocker in arena. so i have to hustle back through the areas back to the arena, pick up my stuff, save a few of the new things because of encumbrance issues, and haul it back to the stronghold, taking down a slave incursion as well. apparently i had made a choice for keeping the status quo without really making a real decision. what?

turns out, after a bit of snooping around, the cure is really...SPOILER***a baby***SPOILER

what? what the hell am i to do with that?

so i go back to madea, or whatever the hell her name is, and tell her the situation. she's not happy, and tells me that they could've used the leverage of having the cure, in it's current form, to bargain for their freedom.

did she know about this the whole time? why didn't she tell me?

i'm evil, but i'm not messing with that. it took everything that i had to prevent myself from opening fire and unloading clip after clip into her head.

so as i leave, i come across Milly. she wonders if i saw a "Wild Bill" running around the steelyard looking for ingots. i didn't see him, but before leaving i'd go look.

now i scoured the area, even after collecting the ingots, and i found no one called wild bill, so i checked the manual, and saw that he's supposed to be in one specific area. i go look. not there.

is this book wrong? is my system glitchy? WTF?

i go online after searching around for several minutes. turns out PS3 has a glitch that makes him spawn outside of the map.

great now what.

well, i look around, and apparently i find this video. it's terrible quality, but manageable.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiSYrm39kg0

 i follow it, and low and behold i get the letter off his body and find his gun. it's a glitch, but it's solid enough that it doesn't crash. this was a cool moment in what i thought to be a lackluster DLC. i expected a bit more.

i return home, and begin my quest for the Behemoths.

PS4 Whoas and Woes

on 2/20/13, Sony announced that the PS4 was a reality. we all knew that this was coming, and new consoles are inevitable. so let's delve into it.

now, i was only able to watch about 45 minutes of the live stream, just because it became unbearable to watch do to bandwidth, but i was able to catch the specs, the controller, the concepts, and a few of the game footage before it was too glitchy.

the Whoas:

some of the concepts are cool and new, and the information that i read about the Dualshock 4 from PlaystationLifestyle was spot on. the DS4 is bigger with a touchpad and what seems to be the move technology all together. how this works should be interesting.

the specs, and i use this term loosely, are interesting. x86processor, an "enhanced" GPU, DDR5 RAM (lots of it) and a great big HDD (hopefully.) they said this was designed for "Evolution of tech" and made for game designers to give them no ceiling. that sounds great on paper. the sky's the limit is a cool thought for sure.

The game footage of Killzone Shadow Fall is terrifyingly beautiful and unexpected. crystal clear to the infinite horizon. seamless and perfect. The Driveclub footage is great as well, though i think it will be good for launch. it will have to prove itself, because we all know the long shadows that Gran Turismo casts on the competition. add in Need For Speed and a hopeful BURNOUT title, and it falls into the mix.

the purchase of GAIKAI by Sony might be the biggest thing. cloud gaming, and attempting to be the fast dedicated network on the planet for gaming means they're taking shots at xbox live. this will be interesting to see if they can do it.

the new interface and social "Share" aspects of this console are intriguing and frightening. nothing like this has been tried before. its thrilling in a dangerous way.

the "Anything Anywhere" mantra may be the key to all of this. if this opens the floodgates for me to get my hands on every game in the Playstation world, playable on so many devices, i may crap myself with glee.

The Woes:

PS3 Imminent Death: it's days are numbered, despite launching several big games this year and next. we still have God of War Ascension, Grand Theft Auto 5, Watchdogs, and others. despite people bitching about the lack of power in the PS3, i have had a hell of a time with this system, i have lots to still play, and intend to until the final day that PSN pulls the plug on the three.

Price? Time of release? forget that...what the hell does the thing look like?  i know Dev Kits are out there, but do they really have anything ready to go. i bet they do, they're sneaking up on MS i know. i've heard as early as this winter, but probably only in japan, but the us cant be too far off. still if the rumors of 400 are right, still a bit steep for most wallets?

Games We'll never see...if the end is soon, that means some of the best games i've played will never have had a sequel on current tech. only one Burnout title, only one UnrealTourney. we all know that Gran Turismo 6 is on the next gen, because it took way too long for 5. Pretty sure the Fallouts are done of ps3 as well, but here;s hoping for another return.

i know i'll have more gripes and greats about it, but for now i must reflect on what i have seen and heard and wait for more information.

Fallout Journal #4: Staring Down a Deathclaw with a .44

shortly after cleaning out the nuka-cola plant of all Quantums, I returned to Girdershade and handed off all the junk to Ronald. he paid me nicely, then we went to Sierra's house to watch Ronald "do his thing" (which was pretty much a bad innuendo about "filling her pop machine".

after Ronald left, i mezzed Sierra, but she didn't turn mindless. so i killed her. i told Ronald the good news about the love of his life, and after a deep discussion with our shotguns,  iwas the sole survivor of Girdershade

But why stop there?

i began walking the Wasteland, looking for other areas that i had previously left unexplored in previous games. i maintained my deliveries here and there. i had a battle with a DeathClaw (one on one) where all i had to pack a punch was my scoped .44 magnum.  i searched Vault 108  and murdered all the "Garys" i could find. i traveled to The Republic of Dave, The Grisly Diner (which may become a new BoO for me...nice decor) and wiped out the Raiders of Evergreen Mills. I finally found the boy from Grayditch and was given my proper XP. i began to do the dirty work of Mr Crowley (You Gotta Shoot 'em in the Head) and finding the VIP slaves for Paradise Falls. unfortunately, Both Rivet City and Tenpenny Tower are pissed at me, and thus, half their population is dead because of my temper. no matter, i intend to wipe out both locations soon.

i'm passed level 20 now. i'm the Scourge of Humanity, The Walking Apocalypse. Death, with Hell following behind.

now i intend to bring my talents to Point Lookout, The Pitt and the other areas (DLC) i never played.

until next time...

Fallout Journal #3: Bobbleheads, Murder, Slaves and Soda

after the loss of Jehricho, i traveled the wasteland for a while, collecting my thoughts as well as a few loose bobbleheads here and there. i figured that the next plan of action was to enslave Megaton.

 i returned to Megaton, headed to the commom room, and enslaved the first person there. not much of a problem. i had a slight issue with only having one slave collar at a time, so a trip was needed to go to Paradise Falls after each capture and to get a new collar. slight issue, but i can deal. if you want the caps bad enough, you'll do anything.

 i took out a few generic Megaton settlers and enslaved them in the same way. unfortunately, someone got wise to what i was doing, and the whole town turned on me. crap. so what was supposed to be an easy enslaving of a whole town, quickly turned into a bloodbath. individuals like Stahl, West, and Creel all fell to my combat shotgun either on the walkways or the town square, Simms and Stockholm were a bit troubling, but both eventually fell. Mother Maya and Confessor, the heads of the Children of the Atom, ran scared and both fell. at this point, that "Bad Karma" chime is going off every five seconds. the Children of the Atom followers turn on each other, saving me time and bullets.

in the course of 45 real-time minutes, i had removed all but Moira and her Merc. the Merc died first, easier than i had expected. then i chased Moira around, cornered her behind her counter. and shot her repeatedly. that was it, the deed was done. Megaton was mine and mine alone.

i went back to the homes and business and ransacked as much as i could, then as i went to the saloon, i discovered a lone survivor. Nova. well, looks like its time for some celebratory post slaughter/ enslavement coitus!

i talked to her, and she replied that since Colin Moriarty is dead, she's out of the business.

silence.

BLAM! Dead!

so with megaton out of the way, i headed out to tie up some loose ends, specifically girdershade and their pursuit of Nuka Quantum. fine, the sooner i finish this quest, the sooner they get voted off the planet. off to the Nuka-Cola Plant i go. well, as i get there, i'm attacked by Hitmen who are pissed about things that i've done to people, ie, enslaving people. i'm also attacked by fellow slavers who are pissed because i'm making them look bad and they want to get rid of the competition. Geez, who isn't after me?

after battles with security bots and Quantum marinaded Mirelurks, i headed out to old olney where i'm  elbow deep in the Deathclaws. might need to resupply before attacking. hmm, are any traders still alive? i bet Moira would've loved my business.

Fallout Journal #2: A Sadistic Change of Heart

a few days ago, i sat down with coffee in hand and perused my wasteland survival guide (i.e. the game book) to read up on Megaton and to find the best way to systematically remove all life from the town. after reviewing the layout, i came up with a pretty good plan.

1) walk up to the bomb and save: this will be the return point in case everything goes sour.

2) disarm the bomb and get the deed to your house. make first parallel save.

3) find Jehricho. make second parallel save before hiring. after hiring, walk outside and cap first person you see. see how Jehricho reacts. if he turns on you, reset to previous save. if not procede to 4)

4) head to each home and inside area and sweep clean of all people.

5) pull out big guns, and rain down fire from the catwalks. watch the bomb, just in case.

6) gloat and revel in your decimation of Megaton.

seems easy enough right? well, the caveat is that when i disarmed the bomb, and got the deed to the house, i needed to outfit my home. the only way i can do that is by paying ass raping prices to Moira (DAMMIT!!). so she proves she is still useful for another day, thus her death is not imminent yet. i spend several trips selling and trading all around the wasteland, getting as many caps as i can to both pay for my housewares, as well as enough to pay for jehricho. once that is done i find jehricho. i pay him, and i begin to outfit him.

allow me to sidebar here for a moment; previous to all of the running around getting caps, and just after finding out Moira (DAMMIT!!!) is going to rake me over the coals for every last cap i have, i went to the arlington library to trade in my 13 pre-war books. now, due to my very evil nature, she refused to even talk to me. so, looking at her and her two brotherhood of steel sentries, i take all three out in a fit of rage. now i'm left with armor i can't use, but can trade, but the stuff is too heavy for me. so, i'll come back for it.

back to the story.

i take jehricho to my superduper mart hideout, fix him up with a few things, then suddenly wonder to myself...can Jehricho use power armor? we head to the arlington library, and i give him the armor. yep, within seconds, he's got the armor on like a champ!

so we head out. i decide to head across the map and drop off some sugar bombs at the subway station where Murray is making ultrajet. a few more caps trade hands, and i decide to head out to vault 92 to get a violin. while traveling, we come across paradise falls, a slaver community.

interesting thing about being evil, apparently paradise falls loves me! they welcome me in with open arms and offer me a business proposition. i get slaves for them for caps. anyone i want.

after rubbing elbows with some real scum of humanity types. i leave paradise falls. then it hits me:

i know where i can get slaves...a whole town...full of potential slaves...

change of plans, Jehricho...change of plans...

Note: Shortly thereafter, Jehricho was cut down by a Deathclaw. his body still remains stuck under a Deathclaw carcass. i think he would've preferred it that way.

Return to the Wasteland: A Fallout 3 journal

For the third time, i've gone back to play Fallout 3. for some reason, this open world, post apocalyptic RPG captivates me every time. it features some of the most beautiful and haunting scenery ever produced for a video game. every time i play it, i find something new or interesting, and with the additional content never before played, i have much to do.

this time through, i'm playing as an evil character, which is surprisingly more difficult for me than it seems. i just can't kill anyone indiscriminately. i first have to weigh how useful this person will be in the future before i just kill them. i learned this the hard way when i was a dick to this kid who wanted me to help him with his irradiated ant problem. i was cruel and opened fire, but after dumping more then a dozen bullets into him, i realized that he wasn't dying (the game forbids the death of children, i didn't know that) and because of my actions, i can't finish his quest and have cheated myself out of valuable xp. lesson learned, i now carefully watch my karma meter to balance both the good and evil karma so i remain at a constant level.

so, as of right now, i've topped level 15, and still have a lot to do. here's a short list.

1) The Super Duper Mart -- i've cleared out the raiders and have made this spot my Base of Operations for the duration of my game. it's secure, has a storeroom for extra things, and a bed to sleep in. unfortunately, My BoO is in the most southern sector of the wasteland, so traveling back and forth is a pain in the ass, even with fast travel. my main goal is to find a sister spot to my BoO and establish it either in the central locale or northern most location.

2) Megaton must die -- this area is a well of good or bad karma waiting to be tapped. now, the first time i played, i nuked the city. cool, but it gets a bit boring, and the person you wish dies the most (Moira) ends up being the only survivor of the nuke. so my intentions this time through are simple: Use Megaton for all available resources, disable the bomb for the colony. then, once i'm given my own home for being the savior for the colony, murder every last resident and claim the town for myself. i'll need to find another doctor to heal radiation and addictions if the need arises.

3) Exploit "items-for-caps" arrangements to the fullest degree -- Meresti needs Blood Packs, Girdershade needs Nuka-Cola Quantum. The library needs Pre-War Books. Some Guy want Fingers or Ears or something. the fact is that all of these pay well, and if you're willing to do the legwork and haul the stuff, you can make some good caps. Girdershade needs only about 30 of the Quantums, so i'm pretty sure i'll liquidate both residents of the small village and take the place, and all the nuka-cola, for myself.

4) weigh the usefulness of others before murdering them -- seems simple enough. i tend to save  wastelanders who have been captured by supermutants. then as the run away, thankful for their newfound freedom, double tap in the back of the head. it's clean, and keeps the evil flowing. caravan traders get a pass now and then, just because i might need them later. store owners depend on situation and if they have backup or not.

5) make alliances when necessary and advantageous; break them when opportunity strikes -- i've had two instances of traveling down the road and coming across a trader who is battling a raider party. if you jump in and assist in killing the raiders, it helps your chances of survival by taking out the raiders a little faster and without incident, and less ammo too. then, once the last raider drops, have the trader meet an untimely demise by "running into" one of your shotgun shells.

6) Be the bigger man (or woman) with bigger guns and better equipment -- There's nothing better when a raider opens fire, then you pull out your near pristine laser rifle and cripple an arm. they run in terror, and gunning them down makes it all the more sweeter. Use Stealth Boys to really get those cheap evil kills.

i'll let you know how well i'm doing on these bullet points of evil. until then...MWAHAHAHA!!!

Review: Resistance 3

Review: Resistance 3

note: this review contains spoilers over the whole trilogy of games. If you haven't played it yet, and are going to at some point. Don't read further.

You have been warned.

Initial Take Before Playing: So this is the end. The final battle between the humans and the Chimera. This should be an all out war. We're taking our planet back and sticking our big military boot up the chimera's asses (do they have asses?) and sending them home crying to Chimera Mom. WOO!!!

Initial Take After Playing: WTF was THAT? It looked like the french resistance came in and threw up all over the place. Where was the epic battles I expected?

The Story Setup: the story so far gets recapped during installation:

We see Capelli (R3's main protaganist) shoot Hale after succumbing to the Chimera Virus. The we find that the body has been returned to SRPA (Army's Special anti chimera unit) and an antibody to the virus is created with Hale's blood. Those who are affected and given the antibody and are once again fully human. Capelli is Dishonorably Discharged. Those who are given their lives back are told to live life to the fullest while they can. Capelli gets married and has a son.
We fast forward four years. Where Capelli and his family are living in an underground colony with a ragtag bunch of freedom fighters. They defend their small town in Oklahoma as best as they can, occasionally fighting moving groups of chimera who get too close to the town. During one of these raids, an old friend shows up looking for Capelli; good old Dr. Malikov, who certainly hasn't given up on the planet just yet. He tells Capelli that there is a chance to shut down the main tower in New York, but he'll need Capelli to protect him on the way. A reluctant agreement is reached.

Now, the two of them travel and end up in trouble everywhere they go. They travel by boat up the Mississippi and get into trouble. They meet up with another resistance force in St Louis, led by Charlie, which gets them into more trouble. They try to fly to New York, but get attacked and land in Mt Pleasant Pennsylvania and get into trouble. Again more freedom fighter groups and that causes more trouble. They get on a train but end up in Graterford. PA and get into a lot of trouble with a penal colony (this is the part where Malikov is killed). Finally. Capelli makes it to New York. Alone and desperate Capelli marches on the tower, fails to make it, and is rescued by Charlie and his plane.

Now, the two men formulate a plan to take out the tower by crashing a large terraformer hovering in the sky into the tower. They fly up there, cut power, overload the terraformer, and crash it. Without getting into greater specifics and some really lame physics. The loss of the tower screw up everything for the chimera and the crisis is adverted.
We leave the game with Capelli getting back home via plane.

My Take on the Story: WHAT!? We know that Hale had to die. I can even respect that Capelli had to be discharged, but couldn't they do that AFTER THE WAR? Speaking of war, WHERE WAS IT? Did we become Switzerland and just give up? We got the flu shot, went home, and pretended that life goes on? By giving Capelli and the others the antibody, we took away our only advantage. They soldiers were stable, just as long as they didn't go off their inhibitor shots, like Hale did.

Four years later? FOUR YEARS LATER? Who was asleep at the wheel on this one? We just let the Chimera walk all over us? We certainly weren't winning at the end of R2, but we weren't losing either. It was a stalemate at best. Yeah they had better tech, but our SRPA guys were kicking some ass (again, do they have asses?) and putting the hurt on the chimera every chance they could. I can only assume that everything was wiped out. (maybe I missed that part) but not without a fight.

The fact that Capelli had to jump through every hoop he could just to get to New York was irritating. The game feels more like a post apocalyptic game like Fallout rather than Resistance. I was really expecting something more large scale.

New Stuff in the Third Installment: Guns get upgrades the more you use them. There are new guns like the cryogun, the atomizer, and the mutator. New Chimera are introduced, such as the Brawler, the Widowmaker, The Longlegs. Grims have shrunk, but now there are two types. Capelli's healing factor is gone and needs health packs to survive. 5 types of Grenades now.

My Take on the New Stuff: I hate having new enemies to attack in a third installment. I know time has passed since the last installment (FOUR YEARS? REALLY?) and they can justify evolution with new feral Chimera. Still a bit lame. Longlegs are basically grasshoppers and actually blow up much like a grasshopper or locust would. Brawlers are big ape creatures. Surprised that there are no Chimera Dogs at this point.

The idea of guns getting xp for use and upgrading is cool, but what about the main character. He seemed drab and lifeless at times. There was nothing to really make him stand out. Being a former member of SRPA, he should've been better.

They took the Grims, (arguably the most scary creatures to fight in one and two) and shrunk them down to man size. Why? 7 foot tall freaks are great to shoot and with their speed and numbers, and they ruined them. Bad move.

Graphics/Look/Tech: questionably the best graphics out of the three, though it is designed to be gritty looking. Serious lag issues with animations and sounds. Locations are cool but reminiscent of other games. Some mapping issues with weapons.

My Take on G/L/T: when I blow up a grim with a shotgun. I expect to hear the report right away, now two seconds after the fact. That was horrible. Graphics are glitchy in some spots. There's a part when Capelli is unscrewing the top of a cap on a bottle, and the fingers and the cap unscrewing are going at different times.

It feels like stuff was glued together from other games to make a big one. We took Ravenholm from Half-Life 2 and put it in Pennsylvania. We took the train scenes from Uncharted 2 and threw them in. The Prison sections feel like someone took Manhunt and smashed it with Batman Arkham Asylum. Why don't I go play those games?

The Final Wrap-up: the assault on New York was probably the most irritating thing in the game. To go through that, with a snail like pace. Then die for stupid reasons. Over and over again. Then find out that you can't get in. thanks for a waste of time.

The ending is the worst. No real dialogue what-so-ever. There's an overlay of dialogue from a radio. No words are spoken between Capelli or his family as he makes his way home. No toughing good bye from Charlie either, or at least a “Thanks for helping me save the planet” before he flies off nonchalantly. I saw a better ending in Turning Point and that ending was crappy!

At the end of the day, Resistance 3 fails to deliver. It's wrap up is weak, and for a franchise that launched a platform such as the PS3 to end like that, I say good riddance. Its a shame, but its all too common now, that a franchise fails to live up to its fullest potential.

Qags: Game Over

i've been kicking an idea around for the past 6 months about a convention game called "Game Over" where the players are video game icons who have been dragged out of their respective franchises and are sent on a mission by a machine called the "Console/Consul". this is one of the characters i have stat-ed out for the game. (whenever that happens)

these are just some rough concepts, but i think assembling the cast is half the battle. hopefully the dynamics of the group will help the story write itself.

MK

10 12 12 The Worst Games of This Generation

There are some things that are completely unforgivable. for us gamers, it's terrible games. games that get under our skin and force us to bury the game in the darkest recesses of mind and pretend it never happened in the first place. these are the things that keep gamers up at night.

here's a few  that i've played during this console cycle.

1)Army of Two: The 40th Day--  after playing the first installment, i saw promise in a sequel and a possible franchise. When i heard that there was another Ao2 game on the way,  i was stoked, but i found it funny that i hadn't heard much about it.

there was reason for that.

the Faults: the game is very short, maybe about 8 levels, and you're pretty much fighting waves of some generic goon para-military outfit called "The 40th Day". the game tries to be edgy, starting the game trying to escape a building that's been shot with a missile (9-11 anyone?) and some other slightly more interesting areas of play. they tried to install a fate/karma/decision system where your decision affect gameplay and you see the outsome of all possible futures, which when playing pretty much tells you that you can't make a good decision if your life depends on it.

additionally, the franchise hits its low point when the main characters make reference to a time when they were drunk and they sneaked into a zoo to commit "an act of bestiality with an endangered species". any respect i had built for these protagonists is gone with that one joke.

the combat is mindless with no real upgrades to the system, multiplayer feels like a sad attempt at something that could've been good. making your own masks for the game was a neat idea, but requires too much effort on the computer and linking the game and the pc is a total waste of time.

i've heard there's another installment out soon, but i'm going to wait.


2) Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust-- i've never been a fan of the franchise, but after the unbridled success of the last installment i played (magna cum laude), i was hopeful. consider that crushed.

the faults: the whole premise is bad. you're a nephew of the great larry, and working at a movie studio. all jokes are dated and barely get a good laugh anymore. the voice actors are all top notch people you recognize from other things, but the script is just terrible.  tasks are nearly impossible because of the crappy camera angles and shoddy sloppy controls.

i stopped playing it, there will not be another time i'll play it...ever.

3)Duke Nukem Forever--  in the late 1990's Duke Nukem 3d took the spotlight from all FPSs at the time...for about 15 minutes. don't get me wrong, DN3D was awesome, and i still own the disks and the usermaps i made for the game.

Duke Nukem Forever is not the way i want to remember Duke. Duke deserves better.

The Faults: a 14 year design cycle doomed this game from the start. the game is horribly stuck in the late 1990s. bad jokes, juvenile humor, and content that appears more humorous than sexy. level design is too linear for this generation of consoles. also, duke nukem is supposed to be a walking arsenal, not limited to holding two weapons at any time. locations are ridiculous at best. it feels like your playing an old relic of a game rather than something new. And load times...geez... this game got so many harsh bad reviews that companies were threatening to withhold future games for review.

if this is duke's finale, then its a terrible way to remember this icon. if they make another game, god help us all... duke nukem Forever= DNF= definitely not fun

4) Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard-- if duke nukem forever was sad because it was a Duke nukem game, then matt hazard is sad because it's not. it's a first person shooter that makes fun of the whole genre, designed to parody. and it does a horrible  job at that too.

the faults:  terrible graphics for this generation. AI is dumb, running to spots before attacking. levels that have no feeling of life whatsoever. lame voice acting and repetition. terrible soundtrack. aggravation of feeling more like a puzzle game than a free roaming FPS. crappy controls

the only good things about this game is that the trophies/achievements are easy to get. pause the game, get a trophy. i knew what i was getting into when i got it from the bargain bin.

Other Games (Not Pictured, because i tossed them to the vultures.)

X-Blades--  i had to do a bit of research on this one, and it sounded ok, so i went to pick it up at the local "Stop of Games" (you know  the name. but i don't want to say it here) anyway, when i saw that they had one copy, and it was their release day for the game, that should've been a flag to walk away.

we have a generic anime girl with anime/tomb raider powers who is barely wearing clothes. ok. we have a really lame plotline to get us from point a to point b, check. we have overly animated powers that really dont do much, ok. and we have hack and slash...all hack and slash...

the control were soggy, the camera angles caused motion sickness when lock-on was active. the fights were lackluster. areas of play were badly designed and were made worse by the poor controls.

i sold this game back in the first week. i saw  it on g4 as one of the worst games of the year. there is another game out that is "based on the spirit of x-blades" called blades of destiny/or time/ or some other generic crap. don't buy it. forget it never existed.

LAIR-- a ps3 exclusive POS that demanded use of the sixaxis controls. if warhawk did it right. this one did it wrong. horrific controls really prevented me from liking this game. which is really sad, because the game was gorgeous in its graphics.

later they put out a patch for new control, but at that point it was too late for me, because the game was already long gone. sad really. thought fighting dragons while being a dragon rider would've been cooler than it was .

that's all folks. back to the goodness of gaming.

MK

10 16 12 Doom's Day

Generally, about this time of the year, the trend for video game companies is to release their big name games to ensure good 4th quarter sales. now this is also about the time that i have my"must buy's" come out.


now last year, i had to have three: Uncharted 3, Saints Row: The Third, and Batman Arkham City. now i did manage to purchase all three and really enjoyed them.

this year, even with such great games coming out, i really didn't feel a need to run out and buy anything for the first day. until now.

Today, i heard that Doom 3:BFG edition was to hits stores, and i squealed like a school girl when i heard about it. i rushed off today, snagged a copy at a great price, and shoved it into my PS3. i was instantly greeted with a "please select" screen of DOOM, DOOM II, or DOOM 3

SQUEE!!!!!

there was no other choice, DOOM! first level, on Ultra-violence, in all of it's old school pixelated glory!

so why am i so excited about this collection?

what? what kind of question is that? how can you ask that?

you have to understand, for every FPS that has come along, console or otherwise, they must pay tribute to DOOM. DOOM is the grand-daddy of them all. the Rose Bowl of FPSs. all the groundwork for the countless shooters out there was laid in 1993 with this release.

so the way i see it, if you were to put all the FPS games in a bar, it's going to go like this...

the bar is full and the air is heavy with gun barrel smoke. there are several hunched over figures at the bar trying to drown their sorrows about never hitting the big time. (Postal, Daikatana, Haze, Perfect Dark, Mag).

There's a few nearby telling stories about the good old days, and how they may or may not wish for another chance. (Resistance, Medal of Honor, Timesplitters, Killzone)

Then you have a loud bunch sitting at a large table, trying to outdo each other with the whole "anything you can do, i can do better" routine. (Call of Duty, Halo, Battlefield)

Duke Nukem is off in the corner with his own peeps. He's dealing with a lot these days (Duke Nukem Forever)

Somewhere, through the haze of smoke, there is a glow of light at a corner booth. an aged space marine with his helmet off is sitting with five women who are half his age. He smiles and says:

"I don't always go to Mars, but when i do, i'm knee deep in the dead."

That, my friends, is why Doom will always be the numero uno in my book. he may not have done everything, but he did just enough.

and, Doom is man enough to give a high five to his older brother, Wolfenstein 3D.

MK

10 10 12 Personal Reflection: Portal 2

i've fallen in love with a horrible woman, if you can call her that. Her name is GLaDOS

i recently picked up Portal 2 for my PS3. for those who don't know, Portal and Portal 2 are first person puzzle games. the main protagonist is a nameless woman who is trapped in a testing facility where the traps are deadly, and the only real resource she has is a gun that generates two distinct portals. she has to navigate through the traps and chambers in an attempt to escape.

 now the first Portal was a small add-on for the Orange Box, a collection of games from valve which included half life 2. Portal was the small dog that bit everybody. it became widely popular and spawned a full sequel, Portal 2

 now, i had never finished the first one, just because i was stuck. i went back to play it, and actually got unstuck and was able to finish portal before playing the sequel. the second feels so much deeper, as is should, and really leads you around the secret history of Aperture Science, the name of the test facility. through this one game, you learn about the history of the place, how GLaDOS came to be, and the inner workings of the facility.

 additionally there are some great moments of humor that make the game fun and lighthearted, even though you're really fighting to stay alive at times. the game incorporates some things from the first game also ties them together perfectly.

there is still no cake though :(

 what's great about this game is that there is a co-op mission mode with robots that my daughter loves. there is nothing really objectionable about this title, and it forces you to reason and problem solve. i love the fact that sometimes my daughter is able to solve the problem before i do. that makes me proud as a dad for sure.

this is a game that i may not play over and over again, but i know it's going to stay in my library of games for a very very long time. it's not the very best game i've played, but it's within the top ten for certain.

You Monster...
MK